Sober
by ClawInTheNight
Summary: Gamz tries to sober up. non-violent. Sadstuck TW: suicide, passing nudity.
1. Chapter 1

God... Why would sollux do this!? You've been sober for 3 weeks, and you're barely copeing. You'd seen the looks that They give you... You hate it, the pity, the barely hidden hatred, the... the _contempt_. So, you tried to sober up. At first, they were openly hostile, all except for Kanaya, she was supportive enough. She seemed genuinly happy that you would be getting better, but you still sensed some condescension...

You were deep in thought when you walked into the canteen area on the asteroid that you and your friends were stuck on for 2 and a half years now. There are enough people around to talk to with the dream selves, the ghost selves, the beta timelines, the planets, etc. that no one ended up snapping. Except, of course, for... well... Anyway-

"Hey Gamz," A gruff edgy voice greeted your ears. "Hello kar-bro, whacha need?" You said, keeping the facade of a brain damaged addict, "Well, what I _need_ is for you to stop tempting fate and start taking your sopor, but I can see thats not going to happen, you knuckle-brained fucksponge." You were starting to get agitated, but you didn't want to give him the saticfaction of seeing you flip. "_Fine,_ what do you _want_, Karkat?"

"What I want is for you to get back ont-" Thats it, you're done. Ten billion percent done.

"Shut the _**FUCK**_ up, motherfucker! Just tell me what you came to me to ask for!"

"Hey, hey... Lets just take a... uh... shit what did the humans call it...? A cooling capsule-device!" He said, shakely, whilst trembling. Without thinking about it, you raise your fist to strike him. He is going to PAY for his bullshit, and all of the said bullshit he'd given you over the swee- No! This is fucking dump! Stop. If you hit him, you give them what they _want_! You groan and stirn out of the room, leaveing the room, tinged green by the Green Sun that they were rapidly approaching, occupied only by a trembling mutant.

Back in your room, you start talking to yourself, it's not like anyone can hear you.

Gamzee you fucking idiot...

Gamzee, why the everloving jegus did you do that?

You triggered him so badly... They could decide to go on another clown hunt for what you did...

You start to remember the happier times, back before you tried to go sober...

Nighty: Aight, this is the author. Obviously, please fucking tell me just how terribly I fucked this shit ur through that notepad review shit.

Thanks to Rakuida from the forums for comissioning a fiction.

~~nighty


	2. Chapter 2

Hi rak.

If you're not rak, fuck you. Read my shit, leave me a review and fuck off.

You were standing on the roof of one of the laboratories, you didn't die because either the asteroid provided oxygen, or you didn't need it for the purposes of the game, or both. You didn't care, you were more interested in the wicked miracles. Everywhere! You'd met all your friends in person! You got to hug on your lusus. Everything was great. You slammed a faygo, and started down the stairs, halfway down you decided to jump the rest of the way.

As you flew through the air (space?) you turned over and looked up at the glowing green sun, enjoying the warm glow, if this was what kanaya got to feel on the old planet, the bitch must have been miracles all the motherfucking _time_!

"Ahhh, thats go-DOOF" You shouted as you collided with the asteroid, you look up to see kanaya giggleing over your crumpled figure on the grimy floor, before seeing you stare, and turning serious again.

"Hah, Hey kana-sis, how're you all up and doin?"

"Oh helloGamzee, I am currently doing fine, thank you for asking. Might I ask why you were in orbit before you collided with me?" She inquired "Daww girl, you WAY to serious all up in this shit. Just lay down and enjoy the moment, sis. It's not like we can feel the miracles of the sun forever! And besides, you got to enjoy the alternian sun! This shit is all _KINDS_ of miracles!" You say, holding out a faygo for her to ephasize your point.

"Gamzee, while I understand your point, there is some grim business afoot! We can't just be frolicking all of the time. We have to prepare for jack!" She almost shouted. Kaynaya had been more edgy ever since she has had to maintain the FTL speed. Not that you had noticed...

You glared at her a bit, and then grabbed her by the forearm and lept off the edge with her in tow.

"Gamze-EEEEEEEE!" she shouted just as you grabbed her and she saw you pull her off the edge "OHSWEETBABYJEGUS." You started to laugh good naturedly, oblivious to your friends distress. You start to flap your god tier wings and glide around in sub-orbit. "Kanaya, you have to ENJOY yourself more!" you laugh, "Look sis, I'm not an idiot, I know that we're in danger, but thats _why _I do this some much! If we're all going to die eventually, the lower bloods first, and thats if Jack doesn't finish us all off first. We might as well enjoy what little life you have left." Struck by your sudden speech, she pulled herself up and spread her arms out. "Heh... Hahaha... Hahaha! We look just like Pupa-pan!" She started to giggle and then laugh out.

After you both calmed down, and had landed on the walkway to the canteen, you walked in telling jokes and chumming it up. Everyone stared at you two as you came in. Kanaya noticed that, and stopped and got more serious. You understood, but you were still upset. Suddenly you cracked a huge smile. You snapped and used your clowny rage powers to make her cloths into polkadotted-dirty jeans as well as unstyleing and growing her hair out, so that it was more like yours, whilst also turning yourself into the epitome of fashion. Designer skinny-jeans, black capricorn tee-shirt, and cleaned at styled hair.

"My goodness Kanaya, you have really let yourself go. You should really go get dressed in something more... _clean_." You say with complete conviction. She stared at you with a confused look. "B-but Gamz..." Gamz? GAMZ? _GAMZ?_ You just broke out laughing, clutching your stomach.

"GAMZEE! CHANGE ME THE HELL BACK!"

Oh dear lord! You'd made her flip! This shit is ALL KINDS of _miracles! _

"Oh my god! I'll change you back! Hahe.. STOP HITTING ME, hehhe!" You were laughing to hard to snap her back, but when you calmed down, you snapped and everyone was stripped down to dirty boxers. _Even the girl-trolls._

"Oops..." You said blushing intensely. Looking over you saw Kanaya bent over faceing away.

"**am*** **l *i**" She muttered

"Um.. what'd you say?"

"I'LL KILL YOU GAMZEE!" She screamed leaping at you, as you snapped her cloths on, she landed on you, your god-teir suit's cod peice pocking her in the belly.

"F-..." You said cringing in pain as she bent your member out of shape. "UUUUCKING MIRACLES!" Everyone was stareing now, as you both blushed profusely. You'd gotten up and said bye, limping to your room. After that, only one person got up after a while, that being Nepeta, who left murmering somthing about "Feels" and "My ships all wrong!", whatever that means.

Laughing in your bed, remembering the antics you used to get into. Now, remembering your situation, you groaned, and got up. It was so terrible trying to sober up. You just felt like it would get all better if you could just... go back to the way it was. Reaching for the bottle, you did the math for how big of a dose you'd need to revert 3 months of a not takeing it. No... no, that cant be right. Thats MUCH too much! If it didn't kill you outright, it would damage your body byond even feferies Life powers...

Would that be such a bad thing? You started to contemplate suicide... It would solve all the shit you'd been given, and they wouldn't have to worry about you anymore. Yeah... You decided to go through with it. You poured out 17 technicolored pills. You as you lifted them to your mouth, thought you'd heard a knock at your door. Milimeters from your gapeing jaw, you heard another knock. "Gamzee? Are you okay?" You heard a certain jade blooded trolls voice.

Almost there. Comeplet numbness, you'd never have to take it ever again...

No more pain

No more Karkats verbal abuse

No more...

No more.

You closed your eyes and tilted your hand... Right as the pills would have rolled into your mouth, they started to hover and glow green. You lookedover and saw Kanaya standing in your doorway, pills in hand, looking... Not mad... but... Sad... No no, wait... It's... Disappointment. "Gamz..." You came to an epiphany...

A single green tear.

An angry shout.

An appologetic whimper.

A teary-eyed hug.

.

~~nighty.


	3. Authors note

Authors note

Ok, so at first I was gonna write just some old oneshot story, but then it kind of evolved into what it is now. It's heavily inspired by a certain period in my life, not so long ago. Rak, I really hope you enjoyed it, because I enjoyed writeing it. I can get a feel for how good my skills are now. Thanks.

For everyone wondering just who the hell rak is, he's a fellow starstuck. We reside on the chucklefish forums. I'll see you there, or not I suppose. But please, it helps a lot if you would leave a review saying what you thought.

Have a wonder-fucking day.

~~nighty.


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